So the first dance. Well we weren't going to have one and i was perfectly happy about that. I hate people staring at me and if i get all emotional I would have for everyone to see. BUT my mom begged and pleaded and so since t wasn't that big a deal to me I decided to do it.
Asking Michael what song he wanted was a pointless because he doesn't see music and lyrics in that way. So at first I just picked a song I liked and that was At Last by Etta James. The song is beautiful and although I love it the song really didn't have meaning for us. Then one day i came across a Paul McCartney song that I love called "Maybe I'm Amazed." The song as sung by him is too rock and not mellow enough to slow dance to but as i did some searching I found one sung by a group called Jem. When I heard the song it just fit. The song was perfect. It is my song to him.

So here it is:

"Maybe I'm Amazed"

Maybe I'm Amazed At The Way You Love Me All The Time
Maybe I'm Afraid Of The Way I Love You
Maybe I'm Amazed At The Way You Pulled Me Out Of Time
And Hung Me On A Line
Maybe I'm Amazed At The Way I Really Need You


Maybe I'm A Girl And Maybe I'm A Lonely Girl
Who's In The Middle Of Something
That She Doesn't Really Understand

Maybe I'm A Girl And Maybe You're The Only Man
Who Could Ever Help Me
Baby Won't You Help Me Understand

Maybe I'm Amazed At The Way You're With Me All The Time
Maybe I'm Afraid Of The Way I Leave You
Maybe I'm Amazed At The Way You Help Me Sing My Song
Right Me When I'm Wrong
Maybe I'm Amazed At The Way I Really Need You


Maybe I'm A Girl And Maybe I'm A Lonely Girl
Who's In The Middle Of Something
That She Doesn't Really Understand

Maybe I'm A Girl And Maybe You're The Only Man
Who Could Ever Help Me
Baby Won't You Help Me Understand

Maybe I'm Amazed At The Way You're With Me All The Time
Maybe I'm Afraid Of The Way I Leave You
Maybe I'm Amazed At The Way You Help Me Sing My Song
Right Me When I'm Wrong
Maybe I'm Amazed At The Way I Really Need You

30 days to go!!

So the countdown has begun to the wedding day. I have 30 days and counting. So far everything is in order and i now start giving my deposits and final payments.
I just sent an email to the Dj finalizing some of the songs and well here is the final list:

Ceremony:
Michael & bridal party: In your eyes - Vitamin String Quartet, Peter Gabriel
Bride Entrance: Just Like Heaven - Vitamin String Quartet, The Cure
Our Exit: Today - Vitamin String Quartet, Smashing Pumpkins

Reception
Bridal Party: Sargent Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band (intro), Beatles
Parents: Young at Heart, Frank Sinatra
Mr & Mrs Presents: Crazy little thing called love, Queen

1st Dance: Okay, I am going to make a separate post for the one.
Father /Daughter Dance: Have a little faith in me, John Haitt
Cake: Grow old with you, Adam Sandler
Garter: Here comes the snake, Cherry Poppin Daddies
Bouquet Toss: Sex and the City Theme
Last Dance: At Last, Etta James (originally the 1st dance)

So I think that's it. Any suggestions or am I missing any songs??

Last day at work.

Today is my last day at my current job. It is kind of sad because I have been some pretty awesome people and I will miss them dearly. At the same time I can’t wait. Most of the people here have been great and I know that everyone has their moments but there will be a couple of people that I will not miss at all. Actually it is one of the main reasons that I left.

I understand that everyone goes through stuff in life and that it may change who they are. Some for the better and some for the worse but I will never understand how people can be just plain mean.

I have one person that I work with that has been the biggest problem. They refuse to accept any order basically help out. They constantly talk about me behind my back and on occasion I have heard a couple of “interpretations” of an event that is completely false. I will say that this has been the hardest one. That person was one that I helped a lot when I first started and I would take a lot of the jobs I knew where too touch so that they would not have to deal with it. I also tried to teach them things that they did not know how to do on the programs. In the end our friendship ended the day they tried to tell my boss that I was not relaying information and procedures to the department. Thank god that they know she is a bit of an exaggerator and didn’t take her seriously. I just felt like I had been taken advantage of. So as I took the knife out of my back I went ahead and ended all non-work related interaction with them. I refused and of course things just got better from there. The little comments and arguments became worse. The great thing was that since that person was known for that I was given great advice on how to handle it but not that I took it. I am not a passive person or at least I am to a certain extent and then I just blow up over a stupid thing. I swear that because of my experience with this I will NEVER want to be anybody’s boss. I feel that if you are a grown person you do what you have to do you do it without having someone on your ass telling you to do it. Oh and even better was the fact that person would complain about my work habits and yet they would disappear for 15 minutes about 5 times a day to take a smoke break and another 10 minutes 2-3 times a day to walk around and talk or “throw out the trash.”

Agh… I really just needed to vent that. I also have another person who asked me for a couple favors and never even bother to say thank you. They needed my services for a couple of things and they were always the type that gave attitude, was rude or mean and just treated you like crap all the time for no apparent reason and I still tried to over look it as nothing personal but when I recently did a small favor for her she didn’t even bother to thank me. I mean I have always tried to be nice to this girl, she’s gone through some shitty times but she doesn’t seem to soften up.

Oh well. It’s the end of my day here and I am sad in sating good bye to people. I am really going to miss them and the friendships I have formed. They have been the best people I have worked with and I only hope that I can find people like them in my new job… well except for those two.lol.

Untitled.

A sad event with a hope for a fresh start.

Ignorance is bliss? Well what is Pride?

Okay back from lunch and I am very upset. For those of you that read www.bookwormygirl.blogspot.com she touched on a subject that is just going crazy. We have a family feud and it’s just getting so upsetting. We have the wedding coming up and mike refuses to invite them. They refuse to see us. It is something so stupid but I can also see how it could have hurt him. No there is a family member that is really sick and no one wants to go visit because they fear that they will be turned away. I went once and I am afraid to go again incase I am not wanted. If god forbid that he passes will going to the funeral be forbidden? Those people have always been extremely nice and they are not even involved in this. When does it just go too far?

I mean that is his sister and he wasn’t included in a special part of his niece’s life. Everyone was but him. I can see how that can hurt. It can make you feel as if you aren’t important and I see that’s how he felt. Had they just told him and explained what happened this whole thing would have been avoided. Had he just told them that he didn’t like what happened it would have been avoided? I know if I was in his shoes I would not have said anything. I would have waited to see if they said anything to me and see if they cared enough that it bothered me. He says he doesn’t care but I could see it in him. He does.

I also understand that there is more history there than I can understand but I have had a similar situation happen in my family. My mom, grandmother and aunt had an argument with my uncle and it broke up the family for 10 years. Though that time we all had deaths, birthdays, graduations, babies and hardship where we could have been there for each other and instead pride got in the way and stopped us from being there. We went through things alone and in the end it was not worth it. All of that wasted time for something that should never stand in the way of family.

Now this fall-out isn’t between my family but between the family I am marrying into. I really love his family cuz they are as dysfunctional as mine but still together. I am extremely sad because his sister won’t share in our wedding, when her brother has his first child, through birthdays and they won’t be there through times when family is needed. Then I get upset because its all over something so small that a simple I am sorry would have fixed it all. I understand her not wanting to be the one to bend because she always has when it came to other family matters but this is a brother and sister. A brother who can be a jerk but never has gotten into a fight with her and who really had no fault in what has happened.

Anyways, maybe I shouldn’t be expressing my thoughts on this because it is not my family but it’s something that just really depresses me and I know will just divide the family more and more. Especially as events happen and people refuse to go so that they aren’t confronted.

Mini-freak outs and more!

So I am now in full wedding planning mode. I have 45 days until the day. I have almost everything planned and well I am now a bit worried over lighting. Lol. I am so far beyond lame. Why the fuck am I worried about lighting? Well mainly because I have 175 paper lanterns and only 110 of them have little tea lights. I gotta buy 65 more and the contact I had has fallen off the planet. So now I refuse to pay more than a $1 for each. I got them for 65 cents before. Anyways. I also don’t know if I should rent tent lights or if I should just go with Christmas lights (hung high so that they don’t look cheese) and the paper lanterns and the candles. Why am I even worrying about this; we should just have it in the darkness of night. Everyone looks better in the dark anyways.

Well done with that mini freak-out. I am trying to focus now on planning some baby showers that we got booked for. I am really excited for on in Oct. she is having a girl and we are going to do a sugar and spice theme. I already know the centerpiece that we will use and I am excited to make the dummy. It will be an apothecary jar layered with flour, brown sugar, chocolate chips, cinnamon sticks, and whatever else I can throw in. Then it will be topped off with a pretty bow in pink. I will also do rock candy scattered around the table in pink. So those are my plans.. for now

Back to the wedding. I finally figured what I would do for decor on the side of the aisles. I am going to do bear grass. Yay me. I could not figure it out and I don’t want flowers. Also I changed the song that mike and I are dancing to. Its my song to him and it fits so perfect. I love it. It’s a cover of a Paul McCartney song but Paul McCartney does it too heavy so I found a slow version of it J

Back... after a long long long hiatus

So i have been super busy planning the wedding and I have kinda gotten into it. I got so into it that I started up a side business planning events and even did a baby shower and have another booked for October. Yea I guess I got carried away.

So the updates.

Sent out the invites but still have a couple left (bad me the RSVP is due this week!)
Got the flower girl dresses started (i freaking love them!)
Added a bridesmaid (a very very good friend)
Bought environmentally friendly disposable cups for the bar area
Got the wedding bands
Michael bought his attire :)
Super excited that I got the cake details set (www.mightyfinecakes.com)

So yea i have been extremely busy.

Oh i am starting a new job on Monday and i am a bit freaked out. Its a small move but i hope its for the better. At least its more money :) always a plus.

Michael and I are also looking for an apartment/house to buy. I want a small price range because I don't want a huge payment difference from what i pay now(makes it easier for mike to agree.) We found an apartment but unfortunately they put it up for auction and it sold making our offer pointless.

Anyway.. so thats whats new. I will now post some pictures of an invite i designed for the baby shower and i will try to get the pictures posted as soon as i can get them from my friend. She sent me some but all of those were blurry! I need to find my camera charger so that i can take pictures. I am a bit upset that we dont have good pics of the event.